R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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