I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
