lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
