Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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