ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
