Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
