Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
