Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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