I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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