Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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