You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
