It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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