i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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