If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
