i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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