I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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