dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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