do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
