his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
