This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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