this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
