He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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