I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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