I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
