its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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