i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
