You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just gargled with NyQuil
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
