I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
