Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
