I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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