I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is the high leading the old right now
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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