You smell like stripper and shame
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
