who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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