i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
