Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
