i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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