Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Randomize
