it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She's the barista slut.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I still have a little drunk in my system
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
