We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
