drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
