after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
