If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
