I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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