I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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