why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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