If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
