sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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