Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
