wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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