omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
