You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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