just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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