My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
